What Happens in Salem

It was on September 19^th, 2016 that I took my first step in Salem, Massachusetts. There was an air of excitement as childhood fantasies of going to one of the birthplaces of American witchcraft were realized. The city itself was beautiful, taking care to preserve the historical aesthetics. But something else was present that I have to think that not everyone who walks those hallowed brick walkways experiences: the history.

When I attempted to explain to my boyfriend how Salem made me feel, one word kept popping into my head. I told him “I just felt an ancestral connection.” It was absolutely the case – I had visited a plethora of historical sites. I had been to Athens, Rome, Pompeii, and tons of historical sites in the US. I had visited spots where history was bloody, but never had I felt like I was intrinsically wrapped in that history. Never had I had the intense desire to move to those places and drink up the energy as if it wouldn’t be there forever. In Salem I felt a connection to the past so assaulting that even now, after exactly seven months, the experience still weighs heavily on me.

On the base level, nothing too otherworldly happened. We visited a cute gift shop where I bought a Bewitched t-shirt and a cool coffee mug. We ate at a nice restaurant on the pier. We went on one of those ghost tours that advertises itself by claiming that other guests have died after taking the tour. (“Look it up – they died!” the tour guide in ostentatious clothing proclaimed.) But what was happening to me on a spiritual level goes beyond anything I’ve ever felt before.

The women of Salem had always held a special place in my heart. When I learned about Salem as a kid, I was fascinated. When I learned about sexism as a teenager, it was impossible not to link the two. These women, usually unmarried and completely rejected by the strict puritan culture that surrounded them, were murdered at the cry of one paranoid villager, often blaming some common illness or disease on the neighbor. And certainly, witchcraft has always had its place in the world and it’s entirely possible that some women in this community were practicing. Honestly, I would be shocked if they weren’t. But it was this connection – the intersection of my feminist beliefs with my fascination with the witch trials and all things “spooky” – that was the dominant thread in my mind as I walked past the shops and met friendly women selling trinkets and gifts to visitors.

In the very core of my being, in my soul, being in Salem just felt right. It felt like I was being empowered by the spirits of strong women who had dared to be different. The history felt like it was living in the most literal sense. The city itself pulled me in, and the energies made me feel more like myself than I had ever felt before.

Today, the ghosts of Salem still haunt me. I think about it nearly every day. I bought Tarot cards. I find myself becoming more and more interested in learning about this secret history. And on multiple occasions, I’ve found myself daydreaming about living there. What I thought was a vacation was more like a pilgrimage, and on it, it seems as though I found myself through the connectedness of feminine energy throughout history.

What a strange, new feeling.

A Return to Tarot

It has been around five months since I have even touched my tarot cards. I think back to one of the daily draws I posted, in which I drew the reversed Strength card and talked about my continuous lack of self-discipline. In hindsight, perhaps the cards were warning me that my old habits would return to keep my disconnected from my more spiritual (and happier) nature.

Sure enough, life became super stressful after that. Political changes occurred in my country which have left me sapped of energy and more anxious than ever before. Health problems have plagued me, both mental and physical in nature, and my poor boyfriend has had to deal with me in some of my worst moments. However, returning home to spend some time with my mother has also been a return to tarot. I had been feeling the call for the past few weeks, and when I saw my deck for the first time in months, I jumped on the opportunity to organize it, spend time with it, and just be in meditation with it. I spent nearly ten whole seconds with the cards before I realized I wanted to delve back into my studies.

I took out my notebook that I had started taking extensive notes in, and I smiled as I read over all the notes I had already taken. I had noted meanings for each of the Major Arcana, both upright and reversed positions. I had recreated a basic Kabbalah, and then taken the time on a few more pages to see if I could draw and label it without looking at the reference. I had taken pretty glorious notes on readings I had done, both for myself and for a couple of my friends. And as I looked at these notes, I realized how truly happy and excited I am when I get to spend some time solely listening to my intuition and experiencing my emotions through academic lenses. 

When I began this journey, the cards almost seemed to promise to me that I would find success in my endeavor to learn more about the Tarot. I believe that I was already starting to feel positive effects from my readings. So now, here I am, ready to get back into the habit of reading and studying. Hopefully, I can stick with it this time, and if the cards attempt to warn me of my fleeting attention span, I will catch on before taking another five-month break!

With that out of the way, here is where I will make promises about content that may not come to fruition, but I sincerely hope that I can do these things:

Daily Draw - I plan on picking this up again. The daily draws I did were always so insightful and exciting. Also, I am happy with how they allowed me to better understand the deck and the cards within it. This is such a simple exercise and a great way to actually get practice doing readings.

Weekly Three-Card Spreads - I feel like simply drawing one card every day isn't nearly enough to learn how to give accurate readings. From what I know of Tarot, the meanings are changed in so many ways as cards have different positions and are paired with other cards. Multiple-card spreads tend to give me anxiety, but I feel that the only way I can truly learn to get past this anxiety is to force myself out of my comfort zone.

Notes on the Cards - This is a completely new addition to the blog. My goal is that each day, I can spend a few hours learning each card, one by one, and building my own sort of encyclopedia of knowledge. I will go in the order of most organized decks, starting with The Fool, following his journey, and then going through each of the suits. I will have one post per card, which will basically be a summary of my notes taken throughout the day. Expect my first post on The Fool later tonight!

I am excited to see where this journey takes me next!

Thanks for sticking around.

- Erebella

Daily Reading: Page of Pentacles

Dreams of tarot had haunted me all night. I had studied vigorously the previous day, making tons of notes about the Tree of Life and how it connected to the deck, and I guess all of that studied buried itself in my subconscious. I had dreamt of giving readings, and I woke up with a start, as if something were about to happen.

I checked on the status of my package containing my first ever Tarot deck, and to my great surprise, it had been delivered already, despite it being three days too early.

I ran outside and sure enough, a package with my name on it lay in wait. I took it to my bedroom and opened it with great care, and finally, I had the cards in my hands. They were every bit as beautiful and as lovely as I had hoped. I consecrated my deck with a small, whispered prayer, and then I began. I searched for a few different techniques for daily draws, and decided on a very simple single-card spread. This was, it felt, the best thing to do for a beginner and also a great way to learn every single card and become intimate with my deck.

As I shuffled, I wondered about the accuracy of the draw. I watched as some of the stiff cards stuck to each other and refused to be shuffled, and I began to get nervous more than anything else. What if the deck offered me something totally different, that can't possibly feel true? What if I had spent my time and money on something which would ultimately be a novelty I bring out during Halloween or at parties?

I breathed significantly as I cut the deck and flipped over the card on top. To my odd delight, it was the page of pentacles. 

This was at first significant only because I had been drawn to that card while watching someone else go through the entire deck on YouTube. She had commented on how she didn't understand the sexuality of the art, but for some reason, the card immediately spoke to me. So when I pulled it this morning, my first-ever Tarot reading, I smiled.

Then began the actual task of deciphering its message. I cracked open The Linestrider's Journey, the accompanying book for the deck which is beautiful and informative. 

There, on page 262:

Keywords: new beginnings, prosperity, good luck, study, investment, desire, the beginning stage of long-term success

I'm not going to lie; at first, the correlation was completely lost on me. I focused in on "desire" and immediately attributed it to my boyfriend. However, approximately two seconds later, my mouth dropped slightly as I regarded all the keywords and realized that not only were they accurate, but they were scarily accurate.

Is this endeavor, one that I have already invested time and money into, not a new beginning? Was it not a strange and unusual stroke of good luck which brought me my Tarot deck three days earlier than expected? Was not my desire being fulfilled?

At this point, I was more than a bit shaken. What were the chances that the first card I pulled of 78 would be one that spoke to me receiving my deck and beginning a spiritual journey? I mean, I am aware of an intrinsic bias which will allow me to find meaning in nearly any card I draw, but this went beyond bias. This was fate.

Finally, after my initial shock, I breathed a sigh of relief because if the page of pentacles has anything to say about my foray into Tarot, it's that it will be a good and prosperous journey!

- Erebella

Introductions Are In Order

I am a skeptical person. I have, throughout the years, struggled to maintain faith in higher powers be it a god, a force, etc. I have also managed to become quite cynical and pessimistic about the world at the same time. As a child, dreams of learning witchcraft and hunting ghosts plagued my every waking moment. I remember printing out "real life" ghost stories and pictures and putting them in a manila folder labeled "Ghost Research". And then my interests faded as I matured and came to realize that the world is big and the knowledge to be gained is vast, without having to put my faith in these things that had no basis in science.

Now, I find myself in a strange period of transition. First, religion is steadily gaining more prominence in my life again. I have found solace in the word of the Bible, even if my interpretations are so much different than that of most organized religions. I find myself craving something more spiritual in nature, more content with the unknown, and more open to things I previously wrote off as trivialized and silly.

A number of factors came together to finally convince me to take the plunge and buy a tarot deck. Some of these may seem circumstantial at best, and downright ridiculous at worst. However, is that not what faith is, in essence? A ridiculous leap into the unknown, or circumstantial evidence turning you into a devout practitioner?

The first thing that "happened", or more accurately just came to a point, was a need to fulfill a lifelong fascination with tarot. I have always found the cards intriguing; someone less skeptical might suggest a pull to them or some sort of divine nature fating me to find them. I am not yet comfortable with the term "fate", but in a romantic sense, that's what it feels like. From early childhood, despite growing up in a household where no one practiced magic and few believed in ANYTHING other than conventional science, I had an intense curiosity about what lies beyond the veil of human sight. I wanted a deck of my own so desperately. Over the years, I pushed that yearning away, calling it a childish endeavor not suitable for someone wanting to be taken seriously. However, the call returned to me recently and has been stronger than I had ever felt it before.

The second event which inspired this massive change in worldly position was a fool's journey to the birthplace of American witchcraft, or at least, one of them: Salem, Massachusetts. My boyfriend and I decided to go to Boston, and such as I might have been fated to delve into Tarot, so I was fated to find myself moved with the ancient eeriness and connection of Salem. I walked the brick pathway past the modern shops, and found myself feeling more free and in love than ever before. Salem was a place where I felt so disconnected from the "Modern Gods" - technology, social media, television, etc. And suddenly, my spirit was in harmony with the past. I felt connected to the women (and men) who lost their lives because they were accused of witchcraft. I felt empowered by the strength of the women who lived there now. I felt...alive. Walking in Salem made me feel more myself than I had felt in a long time. So when I saw a shop selling tarot cards, I knew what I needed in life. Even if I didn't have them then, I would have them soon.

And the final event which was the last stone to fall into place, was that I watched the first episode of Outlander. Now, I realize that after reading about my deep, emotional journey to Salem, hearing that the final piece was a TV show might seem downright mad. But in the first episode, the heroine watches a group of Druid women perform a ritual, which ultimately sends her back in time. And as I sat, watching what is, I am sure, not an actual ritual, I felt once more the call to explore that which I had shunned so many years ago. I felt a need to be spiritual, to open my heart to nature and to the forces guiding the world. Whether that force is just the expansion of the universe, the movement of the planets, or something else, I wanted to be a part of it.

After some research, I found a deck which I believe will suit my purposes perfectly. It is one of the few decks that "spoke to me", as they say. As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted it. And when I read about it, it all came together so beautifully.

I chose the Linestrider Tarot by Siolo Thompson. Not only was I drawn to the artistic style of these cards, but the animal imagery pulled in the natural element that I was craving, and the most important aspect of all: the Linestrider tarot represents the straddling of one between the physical and spiritual realms. Perhaps, the journey from one to the next. As someone in transition or even caught between two vastly different perspectives on the world, this deck was everything that embodies me at this time.

Maybe as I grow in either one direction or the other, a different deck will become the one I identify with. But for right now, Linestrider seems to be the obvious choice.

So this all brings us here. I have ordered the deck and while I await its arrival on Tuesday, I have found myself deeply embedded in the study of these cards. I have been forming my own philosophies about them, and I have been collecting the information provided by so many others before me. Soon, I hope to acquire a true Tarot Journal (or Grimoire, as I will be calling it) to keep my thoughts in. However, I will be maintaining this blog as well, to chronicle my journey semi-publicly but also so that I must synthesize all the information I have into meaningful conversations.

Thank you so much for reading this lengthy introduction. If you would, please take the time to say hello, share your stories of how tarot had affected your life, or impart any other knowledge or advice you might have.

Until next time.
- Erebella