Daily Draw: Six of Cups

The cards had been a source of stress for me for a couple of weeks. I had desperately wanted to get into a routine with them, and make Tarot a part of my daily routine. However, in between social and familial commitments, stressing over education, and a few other things, the Tarot took a back seat - perhaps in the time when I could have benefited from it the most. Last night, though, I finally decided to take my cards back out.

I sat down on the carpet in the room I feel most drawn to in my boyfriend's house: the record room. It's where I set up a small Beltane alter, and when I smudged the entire house, the beams of light hit the smoke in a way that felt inherently mystical. So there I sat, my cards, two books and a notepad in front of me. I was listening to an album by a band I really love. Everything felt nice. 

I decided to try a new method of shuffling, since other methods had proven to be better or worse for reading. I read about Benebell Wen's method in her book Holistic Tarot, where she noted that she did not like the "poker" shuffling method for Tarot and that she would grab cards from the middle and place them on top. She also noted that connecting to someone can help by shuffling the number of times as their life path number. My life path number is nine, and so I decided to try her method. I attempted to clear my mind rather than hyper-focusing on the question, and I alternated between leaving the cards upright and reversing them. After I shuffled, I cut the cards using the same method described in her book. 

Finally, I rested my palm on top of the deck and focused on my question: "What do I need to takeaway from my day today?"

When I flipped over the top card, I was happy to feel a wave of relief as I saw the Six of Cups. I have found that when I take a break from the cards, I always come back to them feeling worried, as if I will be admonished for ignoring my craft and my intuitive nature. However, at least with this deck, they are always welcoming when I finally pick them up again.

When I saw the Six of Cards, I immediately felt love as a single emotion. As I studied it, I saw two lemurs - obviously very close and intimate - sharing flowers, with banners hanging from the building in the background. The flowers were yellow; the color of warmth and joy. I recognized immediately that the cards were telling me that today was a day of celebration, and they were right! Today marked a year and seven months that I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend. To celebrate, we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and had some yummy pizza! 

When I went to check my readings with the books, I was surprised and happy to find that my intuition fit with the traditional meaning very well. I read that the card was about nostalgia and reminiscing on the past. Through the rest of the night, I took care to remember some of my favorite moments with my boyfriend and to try to forget the small frustrations that tend to make me unnecessarily unhappy.

Overall, the reading was very positive and extremely relevant. I will definitely have to remember this method of shuffling and cutting for future readings. I am very pleased with the results.

Daily Draw: Ten of Wands

Before I went to turn over my card for the daily draw (which I had admittedly skipped a couple of days on), I felt nervous. I had done my huge reading and the cards made me feel quite enlightened, but what if I got another reversal? Or even worse, another reversed Major Arcana? But no. When I flipped the card over, it was the Ten of Wands.

There is a certain association with this card; it is often one of weight and, to use the word Siolo uses in her guidebook a lot, a burden. But at the same time, the card is often about new horizons and beginnings. 

I couldn't help but think that the cards were trying to tell me that I have a lot of weight on my shoulders what with this feeling that I need to learn how to control my emotions quickly, but that ultimately, it will be okay. I signed up for this journey and it won't be easy, but it will certainly be worth it. 

On that front, it's worth mentioning that I am already beginning to feel much better. Anxiety has started to fade, all the silly worries I had about other things, especially my relationship, have faded. I have a lot more work to do: specifically in not letting my emotions rule me in situations where they are heightened. However, for the time being, I feel happier and I trust myself to make the right decisions and to listen to my intuition more than my fear in the future.

The cards, on all accounts, seem to support me in this.

- Erebella

Card Counting Spread: Finding Hope

After having such strange daily draws, namely with the two Major Arcana in reversed positions two days in a row, I felt it was necessary to give myself a larger spread to get some insight on where my energies were being blocked. Quick disclaimer here: the method I used is one straight from the Golden Dawn in which you essentially "count cards" and tell a story that way. However, I have changed certain parts of this method to better suit my needs, and the deck that I use.

One of the key changes was that instead of using the numbers assigned to the cards by the Golden Dawn, I used the associated numbers listed in the guidebook for cards I was unsure of. (I used the numbers given by the cards for suits and Major Arcana, but consulted the guidebook for court cards.) One reason I did this is because I felt like it better applied to my deck. I use Linestrider by Siolo Thompson, and while I appreciate the authority of the Golden Dawn on these matters, I also feel that my deck is more useful when I stick to its unique qualities, such as giving the Queen of Pentacles a value of three as opposed to four, which is the default for Kings and Queens in the Golden Dawn's method. (You can learn more about this method here.)

Another reason I decided not to use the original numbers was that my layout didn't respond well to that. With the original count, I would have gone from the Queen to the 10 of Swords, which would have landed on itself, thus ending the reading altogether. In the alternative method I used (keeping the original GD rule of counting Aces with a value of 5, by the way), I still end on the 10 of Swords, which I feel means that my method gives similar advice, but does so in a much more fulfilling and comprehensive manner.

Finally, I should note that the GD method describes the process of telling a story with this method. I have never interpreted the cards in this way; my intuition tells me that the cards speak to give advice, not to lay out a specific moment of my future. Perhaps other decks are good for this kind of thing, but my deck feels like it would much rather teach me about myself than give me possible insights into what will happen later, and frankly, I'm perfectly okay with that. Due to this, my reading will be less of a story and more of a movement through each triad, keeping the previous in mind as a way to make out specifics about what I need to do in my life to end these blockages of energy and keep myself happy and healthy. With all of that said, let's get to it.

1. The Emperor

2. The Moon (Reversed)

3. Three of Cups

4. Ace of Pentacles (Reversed)

5. Queen of Pentacles

6. King of Swords

7. Nine of Cups

8. Ten of Swords

9. Knight of Wands (Reversed)

One of my favorite parts of the counting method is finding the card that represents you. I have not yet had the issue of doing this reading and not getting a court card, but I'm sure I will be baffled when I eventually do. This time, the court card that I knew had to be me (of the possible three) was the Queen of Pentacles. She is a bastion of compassion and generosity; two qualities which I have recently been trying to emulate every day. When I saw her, I couldn't help but smile. The reversed Ace of Pentacles beside her baffled me at first, but as I consulted the guidebook, one small note caught my eye and I immediately knew why it was there. Part of the reason I had decided to spend time focusing more on being compassionate and generous was because I felt that my emotional nature had taken on a more materialistic focus. I was getting upset when I didn't have material things to make me happy. I was frustrated when my boyfriend wouldn't buy me a snack. Silly things like that, which in small amounts are tolerable, but in large amounts, can be toxic to a relationship. Suddenly, the position of the queen made complete sense. The cards were explaining to me that my move towards compassion was a good and necessary one, and that I had spent too long letting my emotions rule me. Instead, I was now letting logic (King of Swords) be my guide, and making an effort to nurture rather than give in to negativity.

From there, I went to the Nine of Cups. Between the two Swords, I felt relatively certain that this card represented my finding fulfillment in areas that I have been focusing on, namely in strengthening my relationship by being more nurturing, keeping my emotions in check, and contributing to our little household by doing some domestic work. These recent ideas (King of Swords) will move me in the right direction, because now, all the pain that I had been feeling has peaked and the worst is over (10 of Swords).

After that, my ideas seem to be solidified as I land on the King of Swords. I notice that the count has placed me solidly in this half of the spread, focusing deeply on my need to balance emotions and the possible happiness I can find in doing that.

After getting to know the latter half of the spread pretty intimately, the count brings me to the other half, and at first I am bothered by what I land on: the reversed Moon. However, it very quickly becomes clear that the card represents self-deception, specifically referencing my recent anxiety attacks, which had me convinced that my relationship was at its end. With the Emperor and the Three of Cups on either side of it, the message felt crystal clear: Chill out. Stop listening to the voices of fear and worry. Your happiness is found in spreading love both for yourself and for others. At this point, as the cards were very clearly driving home a few very important lessons, I all but had to laugh at the fact that my deck had clearly been trying to tell me this all along. I was hesitant to believe that the cards were an entity, but as they continue to prove how clearly they are able to communicate, I find it easier and easier to believe.

From the Moon, I landed on the Emperor. Caught between two reversals, I knew the card was one of advice rather than one of encouragement. The Knight of Wands, when reversed, can indicate setbacks. It can indicate that things are moving slowly and that little progress is being made. This card really spoke to me, as there have been some major setbacks in my life within the past year or so, and that time did seem to slow down and I felt like I was at a standstill. With the Moon warning of self-deception, the Emperor felt like he was trying to tell me that what was really keeping me from finding happiness and purpose was myself. I had created my own setbacks by allowing my fears to control my actions, which is absolutely true. The Emperor felt like an opportunity to find enlightenment with my promise to work on strengthening my mental health.

The Ace of Pentacles was the next card I landed on, and it seemed to have one major piece of advice for me: Don't add new stressors to your life until you can better manage your emotional health. The only focus you need to have right now is to love yourself and others, and to find your own happiness before you do anything else which could potentially unbalance things even more.

I had to agree.

Finally, as the last transition I would make before the cards became circular, I landed on the Ten of Swords. For a while, this has been my least favorite card in the deck. It speaks of misery, and the artwork on the Linestrider deck is distressing. Even in specific ways, the image haunts me. I have always had a love for Elk, as those also happen to be my initials. When I see the elk-like creature, bleeding from his wounds, I can't help but wish the poor thing was already dead, no longer suffering.

Those feelings aside, however, I couldn't help but pull an extremely comforting message from this card. Especially with it being my last, it almost seemed to speak to me:

"Listen, you've spent the last month in deep pain. You've had anxiety attacks. You've had nightmares. You've gotten into ridiculous arguments with people you love. You feel as though you've been the worst possible version of yourself, and you had all but convinced yourself that the things making you happy would be gone. But the worst is over. You've pushed through that pain and you've made it to the light. From here on out, things get better. Check your emotions. Be loving and gentle. Stay confident in yourself and your relationships. You've emptied Pandora's Box, and now it's time to let Hope take hold of you."

Tears are brimming in my eyes as I write this, but I am hopeful. I am in love. I am happy.

Thank you, Tarot.
- Erebella

Extra Notes:

Many have speculated that "unread" cards in this spread represent the future. In that respect, I believe that the reversed Knight of Wands means that I will continue to struggle with a slow pace, which is to be expected as mental health issues aren't cured in a day, and hardly in a lifetime. My anxiety will always be a factor, and learning to control it is a slow process. However, the Three of Cups promises many happy days and celebrations to come with those I love. 

I can't help but notice the immediate closeness of the Queen of Pentacles and the King of Swords. I also can't help but seem some connections between those cards to myself and my boyfriend. In what may possibly be too optimistic of a reading, I think their proximity to each other denotes a permanence to their positions and a powerful bond between them. In conjunction with the message from the spread, I read this as a positive omen for my relationship, which has been my primary source of anxiety and self-deception as of late.

Daily Draw: The Star (Reversed)

As I shuffled my deck, I must admit that my mind wasn't quite as focused. I kept thinking about a recent encounter I had had in one of the Facebook groups I belong to, in which an older man was determined to put down anyone who learned the Tarot through means other than books. I had informed the man that the Internet was becoming a much better source of information, and that his comments were likely to drive away potential Tarot readers who cannot afford to invest in tons of books, but the entire exchange set off a long argument, in which he ignored me and continued to devalue me and others as true practitioners of Tarot. I am new to this, but I have also invested many days into the study of Tarot, and I don't appreciate someone telling me that my knowledge is worthless.

That was the prevailing thought I had as I shuffled my deck, asking what I needed to take away from today.

As I flipped the card over, I found the Star, reversed. I know the Star as a symbol of guidance and the word I always associate with it is "homecoming", so my first thought was that perhaps I have some negative energy preventing me from being guided. I went to my guidebook and found that the reversal of the Star can also mean that I need to let go of negative thoughts and focus on growth and change. The reversal of the Star can warn of damage caused by grudges. Finally, the reversal can mean that I have grown bored with something in my life, or I have lost faith in it. These revelations spoke to me on a few different levels.

Firstly, I had spent a large part of the day debating with myself over whether or not to leave a group I am a part of. We meet up weekly to play Dungeons & Dragons, but recently each session has been exhausting and the people in the group have been giving me really negative energies. In one sense, I felt the Star telling me that it would be okay to leave the group, and that I need to let go of that particular source of negativity and use the time to do something different.

I also related the meaning back to the heated debate I had gotten into with the older, male Tarot reader. The Star was a gentle reminder not to let myself be affected by outside negative forces. It was also a reminder to spend more time listening and less time getting into Facebook arguments!

Ultimately, though, I feel that there are greater things for me to explore about my situation. I pulled Death yesterday and the Star today: two Major Arcana in a row, both in the reversed position. Perhaps the message the cards are trying to send requires more than a Daily Draw to really understand. Later, I plan on giving myself a large spread to interpret to see where I am at and where I need to be heading. I seem to have a lot of problems with my energy being blocked, and hopefully doing an in-depth spread will enlighten me as to what I need to be working on!

Daily Draw: Death (Reversed)

In a previous post, I mentioned how I had a surprising experience when I found myself really connecting with and adoring the Death card. Still, stigmas attached to it pervade, because as I drew my first card in months and saw Death - especially in the reversed aspect - my heart began to pound in my chest!

Death normally signifies change and transformation; and honestly, I find the card to be beautiful. Even in real life, I tend to view death as a natural and necessary part of existence. It's not something I fear, though of course, it is definitely something I hope I don't encounter soon! In the reversed aspect, the death card generally means you are at a standstill. Things are stagnant, and perhaps you are resisting change. It has been difficult for me to do this reading, especially as there are two other cards which have managed to catch my eye today: the Queen of Cups and the Page of Wands. Both of these together lead me to believe that the cards are trying to inform me about my relationship.

My boyfriend and I are certainly no perfect couple. We were for a while, but then reality set in and we argued over silly things and there were a few very tense moments where we both dealt with the worst parts of each other. Yet, here we are, standing strong, together, and sending cute text messages back and forth. So when the cards seem to indicate that I am resisting change or that I am having relationship issues, what I mostly feel is confusion. As I write this, my boyfriend is reassuring me that he loves me and that things are totally fine.

So I have to wonder; what other changes could I be resisting? Today is my first full day without seeing my boyfriend in nearly two months. I spend the majority of my time at his house, although occasionally, I come home to visit with my mom for a while. As you might imagine, while I love visiting with my family, I always hurt at the thought of being without my love. He is a force of goodness in my life, and has often been the anchor which keeps me on solid ground. Especially while I deal with mental health issues, he is a rock and he supports me the best he can.

So I'm drawn to believe, then, that the cards are reflecting the pain in my heart from being without him. Death in its reversed aspect reflects my difficulty of letting my circumstances change and saying goodbye to him, even if only for a short period. However, both of the court cards give me a positive energy, and I am certain that despite the sadness of being without my love, the pain will ultimately be short-lived and that good vibes and emotional satisfaction are sure to come in the near future!

In lieu of this reading, my goal for tomorrow is to give my boyfriend extra amounts of love and maybe a phone call so I can hear his voice.

- Erebella

Daily Reading: King of Pentacles (Cue: Eerie Music)

I got the King of Pentacles. Again. This is super weird. I've done a total of five daily draws including today, and of those five, I drew the King of Pentacles TWICE.

I have a few different thoughts on what this could mean:

1. The first time I got this, I pulled from it general advice to find a mentor or a community that could support and guide me along the way. Receiving this card again could be hammering that message in, implying that I'm on the right track, or implying that I need to search harder.
2. I may have received this card again because the first time I read it, I was completely off. I'm not sure how that could have been the case, because I still do not believe that I am the King of Pentacles, but I do wonder if I just missed something entirely.

I have asked the good people of a Tarot Facebook group that I am a part of in hopes that their experience will yield insights that I may have overlooked.

One suggested that I look at the "shadow card", which I learned is the last card of a shuffled deck. Luckily, I had yet to organize my deck from that spread, so I pulled The Hermit. This card resonates far more with me than the King of Pentacles. It speaks of solitude and study; curling up under a blanket and studying tarot for hours on end without interruption. The Hermit is certainly where I am presently. But paired with the King of Pentacles? I didn't seem to clarify much. Unless I was wrong all along, and the King of Pentacles is a representation of what awaits me for the energy I am putting into Tarot! However, I believe that to be too idealistic of a read, and I do not want to allow my personal biases to get in the way of an accurate read.

Another person suggested that the King of Pentacles in encouraging me to delve deeper, and to consider taking a course or investing more into learning the Tarot. This suggestion potentially makes the most sense in conjunction with The Hermit and also considering I am trying to get my hands on Holistic Tarot be Benebell Wen. However, it does make me nervous to think that the cards are tempting me to spend more money. Not that I've spent very much at all, but I definitely don't want to pour money into a hobby that's hardly marketable.

Finally, someone suggested that the King of Pentacles could refer to an ancestral history of readers. This idea intrigues me, as I've always felt a natural pull towards these things, and even from a young age grasped a lot of concepts I knew nothing about. (Such as the theory of reduction in numerology.) However, I don't know that my ancestors practiced, and even if I knew for sure that they did, why would my deck be pointing to that fact so urgently?

It's certainly perplexing. I'm hoping that further study on the King of Pentacles will offer me some sort of revelation.

Daily Reading: Strength (Reversed)

Today is my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend, so when I sat down to do my daily draw, I expected something about that to come up. However, the cards know me better and they know that what I need to hear is not about how great my relationship is. I asked "show me what I need to know about myself; how I can travel further along on the path to spirituality", and the cards delivered to that purpose and nothing else.

I flipped over Strength, in the reversed position.

My initial reaction was confusion; I felt stronger than I had in a while! My Tarot skills felt like they were natural, yet improving quickly from my studies. My relationship, which was a major source of stress for a few months, was already getting better with the aid of my own readings. My most cherished friendship, which was quickly dissipating, suddenly felt reinvigorated. I had confidence in my skills as a Tarot reader, and my self-doubt in all aspects of my life has begun to fade.

So I decided to dig a bit deeper, and then a few other aspects noted by other Tarot readers caught my eye. They mentioned that the reversed position can mean a lack of self-discipline, and the habit of letting emotions rule your decisions and your life. Both of these things ring true for me.

Especially since I hadn't done a daily reading for the past couple of days.

Especially because I had promised the cards that I would begin practicing meditation, and subsequently downloaded an app and totally forgot about it.

And mostly because my most aggravating habit is, as it always has been, reacting with emotions first and logic second.

Insert a long sigh here because these cards have proven, once again, to know much more about myself and the world than I could ever hope.

So I have two goals after this reading. The first is to pause for a moment of meditation and find inner peace every time I feel that my emotions have too much power in any given situation. I'm not completely sure how well I will be able to manage this, but it is something I have to work on if I am to be successful in any endeavor. The second goal is to be more structured in my daily routine, and to make good habits and eliminate bad ones. I want to be consistent in my blogging both here on The Salem Tarot, as well as on my book blog via Books Amino. (Totally unrelated, although I hope to incorporate some Tarot there soon!) I want to meditate daily and start trying to get in some exercise every day as well. These are all goals that I've tried instating in my life before, but failed miserably. However, I believe that with my Tarot cards holding me accountable, it may be a little easier.

Daily Reading: The Star + First Celtic Cross Spread

My Tarot journey continues to be one of incredible accuracy and peaceful self-reflection.

When I did my daily draw today, I was happy to see that I had pulled The Star; a universal symbol for hope and peace, especially after a period of trying times. After my last few reads, I took this to mean that my work with the Tarot is already beginning to create good results for me. I remember on a daily basis to find moments of meditation and to expel negative energy, and in return, I feel it has brought me closer to myself and to my boyfriend.

I have begun trying to assign a daily goal to my draws, and today's goal was to have a proper meditation session. I will probably save that for a bit later, after I get out of the shower.

One thing that I have been thinking about The Star that was not mentioned in my resources is that to me, it seems to represent "homecoming" or finding your way back to a place of warmth and love. Much like the Northern Star served as a guide for the old sailors, The Star in my Tarot deck feels like a guiding hand back to safety. When I get around to starting a trove of descriptors for each o my cards, that may very well be the first one I add that comes completely from my own intuition as opposed to outside sources.

***

In other news, I attempted my first Celtic Cross spread today. I did it for a friend who came to me, worried about his social life. I was extremely nervous, partially because I know the Celtic Cross spread is difficult to interpret and partially because this was the first reading I would give to another person. And on top of that, he is unfamiliar with (and probably quite skeptical of) the Tarot.

But to my utter shock, the spread was scarily accurate. It spoke to his hard-working nature, and his habit of taking on too much to escape other aspects of his life, such as the emotional side. It mentioned a very quickly approaching opportunity, which he then confirmed by telling me about an internship. And the cards foretold that he would find community within his religion, and his internship is working with a church.

More and more, I am blown away by the Tarot's ability to pinpoint exact situations and feelings. If I didn't know any better, I would say that this goes beyond my intuition and reflection and well into the realm of impossible.

On a more personal note, I am quickly finding confidence in my intuition. It is as if things just click together in my head like a puzzle, and then the cards make complete sense. The Celtic Cross spread took a lot of time to read, but once I had all the notes in front of me, I could see an entire narrative playing out. I hope that means that I am going to become a great Tarot reader.

- Erebella

Daily Reading: King of Pentacles + Beginner's Thoughts

I woke up feeling excited for another day to journey into the study of Tarot. It has been a process which has left me confused about my stance on the world as a whole. Am I spiritual now? A believer? Or do my thoughts tend to stay more scientifically-based? I am so unsure of everything right now. But there are a few certainties:

1. Tarot has been good for me thus far, and I feel like it will continue to be good for me. I have given myself a few different readings; two daily draws with simple one-card spreads, one weekly reading in the form of a three-card spread, and one reading which is similar except centered around my best friend and our relationship. Throughout these readings, a few lessons have become very clear to me:

- I need to spend more time focusing on positive energies and dispelling negative ones. I am too caught up in my head and anxiety is clouding my abilities for self-expression and self-love. I need to focus on finding moments of inner peace.

- I was recently in a period of deep self-doubt and pain, but I am past the worst part. In new endeavors (potentially such as Tarot), I will find creativity and prosperity.

- I need to focus on my friendships more. Rather than closing myself off from my friendship due to us growing in different directions, I can foster a friendship in which we learn from each other.

I must admit - I am hesitant to do readings based on my relationship. We are relatively happy and the relationship is lovely, but a bad draw could cause me undue stress which would only serve as a self-fulfilling prophecy. However, the more I draw, the more I begin to realize that the cards are ultimately what you make of them. Even if I were to draw seemingly bad cards, that could only be speaking to a problem which, once I make an effort to solve, will help to strengthen my relationship. I may try this later today and see what happens.

2. I missed academic study. I recently left school due to mental health problems, and being unproductive has felt like a horrible spiral that I can't quite break. But ever since I began studying Tarot, I finally feel almost at home. Keeping my brain active in two different ways - both the logical and the creative - has been a necessary step forward towards health.

3. Tarot, and as I am starting to explore, other "mystical" things make me happy. I recently decided that I want to get into crystals, and I will definitely be buying an incense burner for some aromatherapy and smudging to cleanse my home and soul soon. I feel happier and healthier by the day, and if this keeps up, I will be a devout Wiccan in no time! (Maybe not, but honestly, everything feels like it's on an upward slope for the first time in months!)

***

My daily draw gave me the King of Pentacles. A few thoughts jumped to my head immediately - first, that I have been drawing pentacles left and right. In my first daily draw, I got the page. In the spread about my friendship, I got the eight and the seven right after the other. Clearly, my energies are hyper-focused on success and material. This makes sense, as I have spent the past few months worrying endlessly about finding a job or figuring out a path back to school or both.

Another strange observance: the Tarot has been wildly accurate as well as complimentary. I haven't gotten contradicting reads. It all adds up to a few points to remember: find peace, stop worrying, move forward.

The King of Pentacles is a sign of hard work turning into success. He is the master of his craft, and he has grown wise from his time working with himself and within the world. Clearly, I am not the King of Pentacles. My journey in Tarot is new and fresh, so I must read this card as advice to seek out community and elders who can inspire and educate me along the way. This is compounded by the fact that I was already beginning my search this morning before my draw.

I have since joined a few Facebook groups and have gotten second-opinion readings on my personal three-card spread. They seem to be complimentary of my reading skills, which is a fantastic thing to hear for someone who was so unsure of her talents and intimidated by those who have so much more pronounced gifts than myself.

I am led to believe by the Tarot that in my search for wisdom from those well-seasoned Tarot readers, I will find success and reward for the hard work I will put into this craft.

Until next time!
- Erebella

Daily Reading: Page of Pentacles

Dreams of tarot had haunted me all night. I had studied vigorously the previous day, making tons of notes about the Tree of Life and how it connected to the deck, and I guess all of that studied buried itself in my subconscious. I had dreamt of giving readings, and I woke up with a start, as if something were about to happen.

I checked on the status of my package containing my first ever Tarot deck, and to my great surprise, it had been delivered already, despite it being three days too early.

I ran outside and sure enough, a package with my name on it lay in wait. I took it to my bedroom and opened it with great care, and finally, I had the cards in my hands. They were every bit as beautiful and as lovely as I had hoped. I consecrated my deck with a small, whispered prayer, and then I began. I searched for a few different techniques for daily draws, and decided on a very simple single-card spread. This was, it felt, the best thing to do for a beginner and also a great way to learn every single card and become intimate with my deck.

As I shuffled, I wondered about the accuracy of the draw. I watched as some of the stiff cards stuck to each other and refused to be shuffled, and I began to get nervous more than anything else. What if the deck offered me something totally different, that can't possibly feel true? What if I had spent my time and money on something which would ultimately be a novelty I bring out during Halloween or at parties?

I breathed significantly as I cut the deck and flipped over the card on top. To my odd delight, it was the page of pentacles. 

This was at first significant only because I had been drawn to that card while watching someone else go through the entire deck on YouTube. She had commented on how she didn't understand the sexuality of the art, but for some reason, the card immediately spoke to me. So when I pulled it this morning, my first-ever Tarot reading, I smiled.

Then began the actual task of deciphering its message. I cracked open The Linestrider's Journey, the accompanying book for the deck which is beautiful and informative. 

There, on page 262:

Keywords: new beginnings, prosperity, good luck, study, investment, desire, the beginning stage of long-term success

I'm not going to lie; at first, the correlation was completely lost on me. I focused in on "desire" and immediately attributed it to my boyfriend. However, approximately two seconds later, my mouth dropped slightly as I regarded all the keywords and realized that not only were they accurate, but they were scarily accurate.

Is this endeavor, one that I have already invested time and money into, not a new beginning? Was it not a strange and unusual stroke of good luck which brought me my Tarot deck three days earlier than expected? Was not my desire being fulfilled?

At this point, I was more than a bit shaken. What were the chances that the first card I pulled of 78 would be one that spoke to me receiving my deck and beginning a spiritual journey? I mean, I am aware of an intrinsic bias which will allow me to find meaning in nearly any card I draw, but this went beyond bias. This was fate.

Finally, after my initial shock, I breathed a sigh of relief because if the page of pentacles has anything to say about my foray into Tarot, it's that it will be a good and prosperous journey!

- Erebella